Miss Her Too
by 9r7g5h
Summary: If Aludra hadn't hesitated in swinging the hammer... A Drunks and Dragons fanfic.


**AN** : Ok, so. This is my first time writing for Drunks and Dragons, and I actually only just recently finished episode 158 (so no spoilers please). Now, I was NOT expecting the way the end of Season 1 turned out, I was honestly expecting that it would be Aludra who died. I was so prepared for that to happen, and when it didn't, that really threw me. So, I came up with a fic. Sorry if it's not quite that good- like I said, this is my first time writing for DnD, so I tried, but I might not have gotten their voices quite right. Still, I hope you enjoy!

 **Disclaimer** : I do not own Drunks and Dragons.

* * *

Harper was blinking in and out of the world, his voice ringing over the thunder of his spells as he hurtled lightning whenever he could, shouting orders to his elemental spirit before returning to the ether. Thom was _howling_ , Blood Drinker splattering the floor and walls and ceiling with ever swing, quickly turning Fennekin's previously white robes almost black, helped along by his own blood as it seeped from his wounds. Not that the cleric seemed to notice or care, so wrapped up was he in his own attacks, lashing out at the dragonborn even as he tried to concentrate on keeping the wall of swords standing. Jaela was casting, weaving her spells into something that would hard their enemy, that would take him down and finally let them end the demon apocalypse. That would let them bring peace back to the world, let them get back to their lives and live something that semi-resembled normal.

Three of them would, at least. Three of them would make it out of there, would make it home, and as Aludra stood there, the Hammer of Sundering shaking slightly in her hands as she beheld the Brazier of Worlds, she knew it wasn't going to be her.

 _Fuck_.

Even when she had agreed to do this, to be the first- and hopefully only- sacrifice that would finally end their quest, she hadn't thought it would come to this. For so long they had been breaking the rules; she personally had died what, three times now? But that hadn't made the idea of dying a fourth any easier to handle, and she had been hoping. Hoping that they would find some way out of this, find some nice old person who could swing the hammer instead, who could take her place as the death the hammer needed to close the portal into Hell.

She had been hoping for a future. A future where she got to see Bucky grown, a fully trained stump grinder, a true man, who could take up his father's sword with ease. A future of traveling- she had left Deep Home for a reason, had run from her engagement and her family and friends and everything she knew because she wanted _more_. She wanted adventure, wanted excitement, wanted to be more than that life could give her. Perhaps, she saw now, a foolish dream. She had lost her brother, lost some of her friends, even lost herself in all of this mess, only to find herself on the brink of losing herself once more. If she had just stayed, if she had just been a good girl that everyone loved, if she had just gotten married…

Aludra glanced over at Jaela as she heard an almost pained cry, her heart leaping as she prepared a healing spelling, only to find that Jaela was perfectly fine. She was unharmed, uninjured, only with a panicked look in her eyes as she stared, almost in disbelief, at her standing next to the Brazier, the hammer in hand, ready to die.

Aludra couldn't help but smile, blinking quickly as she tried to clear the sudden tears from her eyes. Because even though it was ending like this, even though this was to be her end, she couldn't bring herself to regret it. Because if she hadn't left, is she hadn't run, if she hadn't unwittingly become part of the plans to end the world?

She never would have met Jaela, never would have fallen in love with her, and knowing what she did now? She couldn't bring herself to regret the choices she had made, for they all had brought her to _her_.

"Aludra, what are you _doing_ ," Jaela called across the battlefield, the fear clear in her voice, her urge to run to her only kept at bay by her spell- if she moved it would be broken, leaving Thom and Harper at risk, and she couldn't put them in danger, not more than they already were. But it was clear she wanted to, wanted to run towards her, to stop what was about to happen, to put some sort of pause on the world and make sure they both got out, together and alive. But she couldn't, and all she could do was yell. "No, no no no, Aludra, _don't do it_!"

But what other choice did she have? What other option, but to give up one of her friends for something she herself couldn't do? What could she do but let someone else take her place?

"I'm sorry," Aludra said, softly, though it was clear by the sheer look of horror that passed across Jaela's face that her keen ears had heard. "I'm sorry."

Turning, raising the Hammer of Sundering above her head, Aludra, without a sound or a second thought, brought it crashing down upon the Brazier of Worlds.

She was aware of screaming- of Fennekin's, as his powers abandoned him, leaving him open to a slice to the neck, his voice cut off by Blood Drinker biting deep into his flesh. She was aware of Jaela calling her name, of Harper's panicked cursing as he blinked back into existence besides her, of the ceiling crashing down to reveal Ros and Bucky and a real, life pegasus.

She was aware, but couldn't bring herself to care, because she was floating. Somehow floating, beyond the pain she knew should be there as she looked down at her dissolving hands, beyond the fear she knew should be there as death come that much closer, stopping just a moment shy of taking her, beyond the sadness, because this was over. She had ended it, had saved everyone, and that's was enough.

" _Mom_!" Aludra was almost knocked over as Bucky leapt into her arms, shaking as he wrapping his arms around her as if it would help, as if he could stop what was going on and keep her for the thousand days, weeks, years that he still needed her. "Mom, please don't go," he sobbed, shaking his head, as if he could deny what was happening. "Please, don't go. Not again."

"It's going to be alright, Bucky," Aludra said softly, using what remained of her hands to rub his back. Even if her words were a lie, she had to say them, had to comfort her son the best way she could. "You have your father, and your Aunt Jaela and your Uncle Harper, and Aunt Ros, and it'll be ok, Bucky, I just know it'll be ok."

"Do you promise?" His voice was trembling as he pulled away slightly, wiping at his eyes as he spoke. "Mom, do you mean it?"

Aludra hesitated, but after a moment she nodded. She reached out to cup his face, only to pause as she found her hands were gone. Instead she just leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his.

"You be good for your father, ok," she said, fighting hard to keep her voice steady. "You practice your stump grinding and your dead lifts, and don't kill too many people, only the ones that deserve it, and take care of Daisy, and don't listen to Uncle Harper when he says you're evil, ok? You're my son, and you can be anything you want. Ok?"

Bucky was sobbing as he nodded, trying to bravely muster up a smile to match the soft one Aludra gave him. It was hard, for even before his eyes she was disappearing, but still he tried, tried until Ros stepped forward to take his hand and lead him away so the others could say their own good byes.

"Take care of my boys, you hear," Aludra growled, giving Ros one last small glare, though it smoothed over when Ros nodded and pulled Bucky into a hug, holding the small, crying boy close.

"Of course."

It was Thom who stepped forward next, his face somber as he knelt before her so they were eye level. Or almost. Aludra wasn't sure when she had sat down, but at some point she had. And it was clear why-her feet were gone, almost everything below the knee had disappeared, leaving nothing to support her.

"It was gonna do it, Aludra," Thom said sadly, shaking his head. "I was gonna steal the hammer, and kill him myself. Why'd you gotta ruin my plans?" He almost smiled- how many times had her clumsiness ruined something, whether it be some special battle plan they had come up with on the fly or something as simple as their sleep arrangements. How often had she messed things up for them? "Who's gonna yell at me when I try and fuck things, and who's gonna give me burritos at the perfect temperature? Tell me that, Aludra?"

He was actually crying now, Blood Drinker trembling in hand as it dripped blood onto the floor around them.

It could have been hers, with the way she was disappearing, but seeing it didn't freak her out. She was still floating, above it all, just holding on to say her goodbyes.

"You be a good father now, you hear," Aludra said, meeting and keeping his gaze with a watery one of her own. "Don't let Bucky get into too much trouble. And don't fuck too many things yourself, ok? Last time you did you itched for weeks, and I wouldn't want that happening again."

"Bucky's my _boooooy_ ," Thom agreed, nodding. "My only boy. I'll love him forever. As for the fuckin', well, ehh," he said, shrugging as he wiped at his face, leaving a smear of blood instead of tears across his green scales. "I've had worse."

He didn't give her a chance to respond before he stood, going over to stand next to Ros and Bucky, pulling both of them into a hug.

They'd make a good family, and for that Aludra was glad. Because at least Ros would keep them in line, would make sure they'd be ok without her. She'd be a good mother to Bucky.

"Aludra, how could you _do_ this to me," Harper cried as he tried to pull her into a hug, though he was unbalanced as he lifted her up- she was half gone by now, her body dissolving away into a fine dust as the hammer's power continued to take its toll. "You were supposed to be part of my great, shining future, not part of my dark past," he cried out, bowing his head so his bangs covered his eyes. "Maybe, maybe the pokeball?"

Reaching into Aludra's pockets, he pulled out one of the Bags of Holding and opened it one handed with his teeth, holding the ties in his mouth as he stuck his hand in, only to quickly pull it out, sticky and covered in reddish-gold Hell Wasp Honey.

"Eww," Harper said, shaking his hand, the bag falling to the ground. "Yucky. But the ball has to be here somewhere!"

But even as Harper continued to try and find it, Aludra knew it wouldn't work. It was as if some voice inside of her, some voice from someone- not one of the gods, but someone greater, almost like a master of the universe- told her it wouldn't work. Even if Harper could find it, it wouldn't be enough.

She was dying, and that was that.

"Harper, put me down."

"Oh, yeah, sorry," Harper said quickly, as if he just realized he was still holding her. Putting her down carefully- everything from the waist down and one of her arms were gone, making it hard to stay upright- he knelt, much like Thom had, before her. "Aludra, I have to save you. I have to…"

"Harper," Aludra said softly, shaking her head slowly. Taking a moment to think, she took a deep breathe before saying the words she had come up with. "Go find your sister. Rebuild your house. It'll be ok. _You_ will be ok."

Harper's lip started trembling as she spoke, and before she knew it he had blinked away, appearing randomly every few seconds in different spots around the room, clearly crying even as he tried to keep his emotions locked inside.

She would be gone soon. Aludra could feel it inside of herself, could feel that she was fading, and fading fast. It was ok, though. She had said her goodbyes, had left the message for her parents- she was ok. She was ready. Except…

It was hard, turning herself to look, but still Aludra did it, balancing herself with what remained of her one arm to keep herself upright as she shifted. Shifted to look at the woman she loved, one last time.

Jalea hadn't moved. It hadn't been long since Aludra had brought down the hammer upon the Brazier, only a minute or two, but the hammer had taken its toll quickly. Leaving her no real time to think, to react, to actually accept that what had just happened actually had, in fact, happened. Leaving Jaela stunned, standing there, until Aludra, with a small, wet smile, invited her over.

There were no words. There didn't need to be, not really. They both knew what they wanted to say, the words that had been stuck on their tongues for so long, and in this moment, they didn't need to say them.

Instead, Aludra just tilted her head upwards, and without having to ask, Jaela knelt down and captured her lips in a kiss, a kiss that held until, with one last, final breath, the last of Aludra faded into nothing more but dust and one last boob burrito.

It was then that Jaela became aware of screaming- screaming as the fortress began to crumble around them, Thom and Harper and that bitch Ros yelling at her to move, to get on the pegasus or a griffin or _something_ that would save her. Screaming as Thom lifted her into his arms, throwing her over the side of something soft and fluffy and taking off into the sky. Screaming that was her own, a single, excoriatingly painful sound as she just screamed, over and over and over again she _screamed_ , because Aludra was gone, Aludra was _dead_ , and how could she do anything but scream?

* * *

The party was still going on, and Jaela hated every moment of it. Because Aludra was dead, so how could anything be worth celebrating? They had lived, yes, but at what cost?

The woman she loved was gone.

Jaela almost didn't realize that Bucky was besides her, even when he had tugged on her sleeve- she had delved deep into her drink, trying hard to burn away the pain literally breaking her heart, destroying the slight bit of light she felt still remained. But eventually she looked down- he was Aludra's son, out of love if not blood, and she couldn't bring herself to ignore him.

Her breathe caught in her throat as she saw, in his hands, a burrito.

"I miss her too."

His voice was soft, tears slipping silently down his cheeks as he held up his arms, asking in the most simple, childish way possible to be picked up, to be held, to be told that it was all going to be ok.

Jaela complied, settling Bucky in her lap, curling around him, holding him as close as she could as she wet his hair with her own tears, both of them holding onto the burrito with all they had just as tightly as they held each other.

Because that was all that was left of Aludra, and even though the world was safe, all they wanted was her back.


End file.
